Odi et Amo
by blacklotus7
Summary: Drabbles centered on the relationships of the Black family, on love and hate. This series won Judges' Choice for Best Drabble Series at the New Library Awards.
1. I: Silence

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

_A/N:_ This is a series of drabbles focused on the Black family.

The first one: The wrongly convicted Sirius Black spots his cousin as she is brought into Azkaban.

* * *

**ODI ET AMO**

"_Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?_

_Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior_."

I hate and I love. Why do I do this, perhaps you ask.

I do not know, but I feel it happening and I am tortured.

_- Catullus 85_

**

* * *

****I. Silence**

It is too dark to see much outside of his cell, and one of his eyes has swelled shut from a guard's fist. But he does not need his sight to see her.

There is a glint of madness in her eyes that fades when their gazes meet. For a moment, he sees them soften in a way they haven't for years.

But in the next moment, they harden and burn with wrath, magma into obsidian. With vindictive glee, she presses a finger to her lips, showing him her final revenge, punishment for his part in her master's demise.

Silence.


	2. II: Tonight

_Summary: _Before venturing to destroy a horcrux, Regulus thinks of his brother and pays a final visit to his father.

* * *

**II. Tonight**

Tomorrow is the day he dies.

Regulus expects this; no one survives betraying the Dark Lord for long. But he will go down fighting, a sentiment that makes him think of his brother.

Tomorrow he might make Sirius proud for the first time since he had the Sorting Hat put him on the easy path.

His father welcomes him inside with a genuine smile. Regulus does not even attempt to return it, not this time. It is their fault, setting brother against brother.

Tomorrow he might regret killing his own father.

Tonight he smiles for the first time in years.


	3. III: A Mother's Love

_Summary: _On the battlefield of Hogwarts, one mother grieves while another is grateful.

* * *

**III. A Mother's Love**

As she clutches her son, Narcissa stares upward and thanks whoever is listening for keeping him safe, for not stealing him from her.

Someone screams, and her heart stops.

Because she knows that scream. It is the one she made when the Dark Lord raised his wand to Draco for his failure. It is the one torn from Molly Weasley's throat when Bellatrix nearly found another mark.

She turns to see her other sister, sprawled over a corpse with colourful hair, screaming as if her soul has been torn out.

And she knows that now, there will never be forgiveness.


	4. IV: Mirror, Mirror

_Summary:_ After the incident with Snape and the Shrieking Shack, Sirius reflects upon what it means to be both a Gryffindor and a Black.

This drabble won Best Drabble at the New Library Awards by both votes and judges' choice.

* * *

**IV. Mirror, Mirror**

Looking in the mirror, Sirius wonders if they're right. If sending Snape to the Shrieking Shack doesn't make him like _them_. If the red of his blood is thicker than the red of his house, as he's always feared.

He was just so angry.

On his bed sit the only two letters he's received from Bellatrix since he began attending Hogwarts. The first arrived a week ago, an announcement of her engagement. The second arrived tonight, congratulating him on a great job with that half-blood Snape.

In the mirror, he can almost see her eyes mocking him through his own.


	5. V: Reminder

_Summary: _Azkaban had made Bellatrix forget, but she remembers when she sees her niece in the Department of Mysteries.

* * *

**V. Reminder**

She'd forgotten.

Azkaban stole many memories, until her childhood is only a dark fog.

When Andromeda was seven, she turned her hair pink, by accident. Mother was appalled, but she and Bellatrix laughed themselves silly.

When Andromeda was seventeen, she left, on purpose. Bellatrix chopped all her black hair off.

She'd forgotten.

_Nymphadora_ has pink hair, and for a moment, Bellatrix is convinced that it is her sister in the Ministry, returned to her at last. But she corrects herself, as she plans to correct Andromeda's vile mistake.

She'd forgotten.

And she hates her all the more for the reminder.


End file.
